I recently decided to embark on a journey to rid my home of the spiritual darkness that I believe is looming around us (post to come soon about that), but in the process I have recieved a resounding wake up call of self-evaluation.
The second step on the spiritual darkness journey is to ask God to reveal to you your sins and your struggles, so I have been praying for spiritual discernment to that regard. Then in church last Sunday, we were studying the church of Thyatira in Revelations 2:18-29 where Jesus was critiquing the church on their tolerance of Jezebel or temptations. So along with that sermon I prayed that God reveal to me my Jezebels so that I might be rid of them.
It started slowly. In my quiet time I felt the Lord telling me to hold my tongue - to watch what comes from my mouth as it is representative of what is in my heart.
Then this Sunday, I got smacked with the reality stick of my own self-righteousness. In a harsh and loud way, my sins were revealed to me - speaking mainly of my sins against my husband... selfishness, impatience, and irritability. I have not been a respectful, submissive, unconditionally loving wife that I am called to be.
And as painful as this revelation was, I am so thankful to be awoken that I might be able to be aware and rectify my behavior, repent of my sins, and love & respect my husband in a way that is pleasing to the Lord.
Which brings me to a miracle. Along with answering my prayer for revelation of my Jezebels, God provided me the tools I needed to heal and grow before I ever knew I would need them.
A couple of months ago, I was rummaging through cabinets in the OB wing of the hospital I work at, looking for printer paper. During my search I found a book called The Power of a Praying Wife. Well, since the OB wing is closed and the book had enough dirt on it to prove abandonment, I decided to borrow the book. I had been slowly reading it but without much intent because as I said before, my arrogance and self-righteousness had me believing I was already a great wife - that it was my husband who had the problem.
It occurred to me this morning though that God placed this book in my path so today in my quiet time His words and His message of what I needed to grow and change as a wife would be there in front of me just as I needed it.
I am eternally grateful and awe struck by His perfect timing and blessed plan for my life. As soon as I opened my eyes and heart to hear what He had to say to me, everything was already laid out before me to break my fall from righteousness! Praise the Lord!!
💙💚💛🧡💜❤
I am including my notes from this life changing chapter "His Wife" in hopes that the message will be available to be revealed to anyone else in my place.
