There are items that I have decided that I would like, but they cannot be bought at Babies R Us!! For those interested, I would love a small video camera/digital camera. I would like anything from signingtime.com and books by Dawn Babb Prochovnic. And, I will add more as I come up with it. Till them, I am registered at Babies R Us!!
:)
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
The Sperm Donor
I have been doing a lot of thinking and research in regards to the topic of "daddy." From what I have found, even if I wanted to, I cannot put his name on the birth certificate. In the state of Texas, he must be present to claim paternity. That being said, I have been following his probation. There has been an adjudication of guilt, so I am assuming he is being taken off probation and will have to serve the time. If I remember correctly, he will have to serve 180 days. Assuming it starts in the next couple of months, it may be safe to say that he will not be at the hospital. His absense should take some stress away from the special day, which is great.
However, I am not so naive to think that nothing will ever happen in regards to paternity. I am planning to speak to an attorney before Cote gets here just to be prepared. But with his criminal record, violation of probation, and complete lack of responsibility in all regards, there shouldn't be much to worry about. He will have to do a lot to gain access to her. If he is willing to make the effort though, I will be cooperative.
On that note, I have been putting a lot of thought into how I will handle this situation with Cote. As of right now I am working on the assumption that he will not be involved, and I will be single. If she asks about him, I am simply going to tell her that things did not work out between he and I. I will give her more as she gets older, and I will be honest. Until she is old enough to understand, I ask that no one speak poorly of him to her. Then, if one day she decides she wants to find him, I will help her. I want her to feel comfortable talking to me about him, so I can protect her if she ever seeks him out.
I also plan to explain to her the difference between a dad and a father. She does have a father: a man involved in the creation of a baby. She may or may not have a dad: a man who loves her and cherishes her, wants the best for her, will protect her, and always be there for her. BUT her sperm donor is not her dad.
She also deserves to know about her sisters, so I will show her pictures when she is old enough to understand and if I feel it is appropriate. I do not want her to have any feeling of inadequacy or anything because he takes care of his "other" daughters but not her. (Again, this is working on the assumption that he is not present or active in her life.)
I would like this topic to be discussed and understood among family and friends. I hope that everyone can be on the same page for Cote's sake. I want to protect her, but I also want her to be able to make her own decisions. I will protect her as much as I can, but I will not deny her the truth. I do not want her to resent me for keeping her from him.
I hope this makes sense. If not, lets discuss it!!
However, I am not so naive to think that nothing will ever happen in regards to paternity. I am planning to speak to an attorney before Cote gets here just to be prepared. But with his criminal record, violation of probation, and complete lack of responsibility in all regards, there shouldn't be much to worry about. He will have to do a lot to gain access to her. If he is willing to make the effort though, I will be cooperative.
On that note, I have been putting a lot of thought into how I will handle this situation with Cote. As of right now I am working on the assumption that he will not be involved, and I will be single. If she asks about him, I am simply going to tell her that things did not work out between he and I. I will give her more as she gets older, and I will be honest. Until she is old enough to understand, I ask that no one speak poorly of him to her. Then, if one day she decides she wants to find him, I will help her. I want her to feel comfortable talking to me about him, so I can protect her if she ever seeks him out.
I also plan to explain to her the difference between a dad and a father. She does have a father: a man involved in the creation of a baby. She may or may not have a dad: a man who loves her and cherishes her, wants the best for her, will protect her, and always be there for her. BUT her sperm donor is not her dad.
She also deserves to know about her sisters, so I will show her pictures when she is old enough to understand and if I feel it is appropriate. I do not want her to have any feeling of inadequacy or anything because he takes care of his "other" daughters but not her. (Again, this is working on the assumption that he is not present or active in her life.)
I would like this topic to be discussed and understood among family and friends. I hope that everyone can be on the same page for Cote's sake. I want to protect her, but I also want her to be able to make her own decisions. I will protect her as much as I can, but I will not deny her the truth. I do not want her to resent me for keeping her from him.
I hope this makes sense. If not, lets discuss it!!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Alone
All of the episodes of Friends this week have been the sequence of Rachel's pregnancy. The further along she got, the harder the shows have been to watch. Tonight really brought it home. The episodes tonight were about her labor and her realization of being a "single" mother. All the while, I am writing my own birth plan and thinking about the same thing. And it sucks! I know I have my family and my friend, but I do not have a partner. I do not have that one person to go through this whole thing with.
Then I got to thinking about who would be in the room with me. Both my mom and dad have agreed to be in the room, but I'm honestly not sure that I want anyone in there. I'm a very modest person, so to be so vulnerable and exposed in front of my parents seems awkward to me. I am beginning to think that I would rather have no one in there. Then, I'll be alone...
To be alone is frightening. It is one thing to be single. It is another thing to be a single (expectant) mother. There is a reason it takes two to make baby and village to raise one. It is not an act that is meant to be performed by one person. But then I think, I've made it this far by myself. (No discredit to the wonderful support of my family, but you know what I mean.)
I know I can do this, but do I do it alone? I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I am beginning to believe that independence it the way to go. Sure, it is scary as hell, but maybe it is time to face my fears.
I've been pregnant alone. I'll give birth alone. And I'll parent alone.
Maybe it won't be so bad...
Then I got to thinking about who would be in the room with me. Both my mom and dad have agreed to be in the room, but I'm honestly not sure that I want anyone in there. I'm a very modest person, so to be so vulnerable and exposed in front of my parents seems awkward to me. I am beginning to think that I would rather have no one in there. Then, I'll be alone...
To be alone is frightening. It is one thing to be single. It is another thing to be a single (expectant) mother. There is a reason it takes two to make baby and village to raise one. It is not an act that is meant to be performed by one person. But then I think, I've made it this far by myself. (No discredit to the wonderful support of my family, but you know what I mean.)
I know I can do this, but do I do it alone? I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I am beginning to believe that independence it the way to go. Sure, it is scary as hell, but maybe it is time to face my fears.
I've been pregnant alone. I'll give birth alone. And I'll parent alone.
Maybe it won't be so bad...
Thursday, March 8, 2012
The Demise of the Male Species
Recently, I have discovered that I have lost all faith in the "men". If they are not my doctor or related to me, they are almost worthless to me. Its been slow and steady, but it is almost official. The demise has been brought on by multiple subspecies of these so called "men".
First, there is the Sperm-Donor. This subspecies is the worst of its kind. He is a cheater, a user, and an abuser. He thinks of no one but himself. He sees people for only what they have to offer him. Once he has sucked them dry, he throws them out like last week’s trash. This "man" also believes himself to be a good father. Recent evidence (such as being two hours late to pick up his daughter and that his daughter is seeking attention by making herself sick at school) has proved otherwise. His paternal privilege is purely biological. Though he considers himself God’s gift to mankind, this subspecies is a sorry excuse for a "man."
The next member of the demise dream team is the Grey Haired Geezer. The sole purpose of this subspecies is to make noise that he claims is music. He pounds away at musical instruments making nonsensical sounds that cause instant headaches for anyone within earshot. He asserts his dominance by making false assumptions of guilt and wrongly admonishing disciplinary actions. He also preys on the weak and pregnant, always forgetting that hormones bite back. When surrounded by a pack of raging estrogen rich lioness, this subspecies cowards and cries to the pack leader. He is generally unsuccessful in all attempts to be funny and thinks he knows everything. This "man" is only successful at being annoying and obnoxious. Luckily, his subspecies is on the verge of extinction, thus there is a hope.
Too bad, the rapid population of the self proclaimed Girlie-Man will fill the void left by the extinction. This "man" is a unique kind of pain-in-the-ass. He is very book smart and knows it. He is not afraid to voice his opinion, not caring (or being completely unaware of) who he may offend in the process. His attempts at humor are generally so awkward that the only possibly reaction is a forced laugh (at him, not with him.) But his strongest fault is the complete lack of testosterone. The Girlie-Man has many feminine characteristics and mannerism that make him a fascination, but too much exposure can cause any self respecting women to channel her inner Manhood to make up for what he lacks. This can have seriously negative effects in the long run.
Another subspecies that has contributed to the fall of all "man"-kind in my eyes is the Handicapped Stinker. UGH! This “man” is foreign to all concepts involving chivalry or manners. His excuse is he speaks five languages and that he is a veteran. All of those intrigues are lost by his complete lack of decorum. He has no qualms about sharing disgusting facts that are so far beyond TMI that they do not even have a category. He also emits an odor than can burn the nose hairs off any unsuspecting victim that crosses his path. To make matters worse, he is always grunting to make his presence known to all. If he goes unnoticed he will whine until his every need is met. His lasting theme of behavior is the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Though he claims to be macho, his incessant need to be babied begs to differ. He is the final straw.
Though there are many other subspecies that may or may not redeem the “man,” I have not come across any as of late. I have lost almost all faith in this gender, with the afore mentioned exceptions. I challenge someone to change my mind.
First, there is the Sperm-Donor. This subspecies is the worst of its kind. He is a cheater, a user, and an abuser. He thinks of no one but himself. He sees people for only what they have to offer him. Once he has sucked them dry, he throws them out like last week’s trash. This "man" also believes himself to be a good father. Recent evidence (such as being two hours late to pick up his daughter and that his daughter is seeking attention by making herself sick at school) has proved otherwise. His paternal privilege is purely biological. Though he considers himself God’s gift to mankind, this subspecies is a sorry excuse for a "man."
The next member of the demise dream team is the Grey Haired Geezer. The sole purpose of this subspecies is to make noise that he claims is music. He pounds away at musical instruments making nonsensical sounds that cause instant headaches for anyone within earshot. He asserts his dominance by making false assumptions of guilt and wrongly admonishing disciplinary actions. He also preys on the weak and pregnant, always forgetting that hormones bite back. When surrounded by a pack of raging estrogen rich lioness, this subspecies cowards and cries to the pack leader. He is generally unsuccessful in all attempts to be funny and thinks he knows everything. This "man" is only successful at being annoying and obnoxious. Luckily, his subspecies is on the verge of extinction, thus there is a hope.
Too bad, the rapid population of the self proclaimed Girlie-Man will fill the void left by the extinction. This "man" is a unique kind of pain-in-the-ass. He is very book smart and knows it. He is not afraid to voice his opinion, not caring (or being completely unaware of) who he may offend in the process. His attempts at humor are generally so awkward that the only possibly reaction is a forced laugh (at him, not with him.) But his strongest fault is the complete lack of testosterone. The Girlie-Man has many feminine characteristics and mannerism that make him a fascination, but too much exposure can cause any self respecting women to channel her inner Manhood to make up for what he lacks. This can have seriously negative effects in the long run.
Another subspecies that has contributed to the fall of all "man"-kind in my eyes is the Handicapped Stinker. UGH! This “man” is foreign to all concepts involving chivalry or manners. His excuse is he speaks five languages and that he is a veteran. All of those intrigues are lost by his complete lack of decorum. He has no qualms about sharing disgusting facts that are so far beyond TMI that they do not even have a category. He also emits an odor than can burn the nose hairs off any unsuspecting victim that crosses his path. To make matters worse, he is always grunting to make his presence known to all. If he goes unnoticed he will whine until his every need is met. His lasting theme of behavior is the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Though he claims to be macho, his incessant need to be babied begs to differ. He is the final straw.
Though there are many other subspecies that may or may not redeem the “man,” I have not come across any as of late. I have lost almost all faith in this gender, with the afore mentioned exceptions. I challenge someone to change my mind.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
86 days to go...
I have officially entered into my third trimester. This means the end is finally in sight. And to be honest, I am extremely nervous. There is so much in my near future that it is overwhelming.
For starters:: LABOR! Umm holy hell! I realize that it is something that all mothers will go through, but may I just say that the horror stories do not help in the slightest. There is nothing inspiring about the friend of a friend that had the worst labor experience known to man. I think all women should call a truce and stop sharing these war stories. We will come out with out battle scars, but can we save those stories till the end, please.
Then there is the whole baby thing... these things don't come with manuals. Sure I am reading everything I can get my hands on, but that doesn't make me feel too much better. There are so many what ifs that race through my mind that it is borderline paranoia. And for those who weren't aware, I am a control freak! A fact that most babies do not seem to give a damn about. Just another challenge of character.
I know it will all be alright, and I will learn to adjust; but the waiting period is just long enough for me to drive myself crazy with worry. I guess that is all part of being a parent though.
86 days to go...
For starters:: LABOR! Umm holy hell! I realize that it is something that all mothers will go through, but may I just say that the horror stories do not help in the slightest. There is nothing inspiring about the friend of a friend that had the worst labor experience known to man. I think all women should call a truce and stop sharing these war stories. We will come out with out battle scars, but can we save those stories till the end, please.
Then there is the whole baby thing... these things don't come with manuals. Sure I am reading everything I can get my hands on, but that doesn't make me feel too much better. There are so many what ifs that race through my mind that it is borderline paranoia. And for those who weren't aware, I am a control freak! A fact that most babies do not seem to give a damn about. Just another challenge of character.
I know it will all be alright, and I will learn to adjust; but the waiting period is just long enough for me to drive myself crazy with worry. I guess that is all part of being a parent though.
86 days to go...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)