Please grant me this chance to rant...
I am really beginning to struggle as a single mother. I am doing my very best, and I do not feel like I am struggling as a mother. But I do feel alone as a mother. For example, this weekend I assembled my baby's nursery room, and I did not have anyone to share the experience with. Don't get me wrong, my parents are absolutely fantastic, but it's not quite the same. There is a reason it takes two to make a baby... It is an experience that is meant to be shared! The milestones. The trials. The tribulations. Each thing event is special and wonderful to share with your child, but I feel like it loses something when you cant laugh or cry about it with your partner.
Then there is the flip side that i do not want her father back, so I am stuck in a less than ideal situation. But saying that I feel like a bad mother for feeling this way. I am not sure how to express exactly how I feel. I love my daughter and wouldn't trade a second I get to spend with her for anything in the world, but I do feel completely alone.
Another example is today. I returned to school today and was forced to leave my baby. And next week she starts daycare, both of which wouldn't necessarily have to happen if I wasn't single, but also both will take place with no support (excluding my parents.) I do each and every parental thing alone which is fine, but I wish I just had someone to share it with. Life isn't meant to be spent alone and neither is parenting..
But its all okay. I have God. Great parents. Good friends and a glass of wine. Lol.
Sorry for sounding so pathetic.. Just needed to word vomit a little...
Monday, August 27, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Time to Change
Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking, and the conclusion I have come to is that it is time for change. And I'm not talking about a hair cut or redecorating, I am talking about a lifestyle change. Because I want Cote to have the best life possible, I must lead by example. After all, I am the change I want to see.
To start the change, I am changing my diet. My whole life I have feasted on foods that are doing nothing to help. While I lived with Ava and Delilah, I made a better effort to eat health, so they would eat healthy. Being pregnant, I made even more of an effort. Now, I need to make the change a complete commitment.
My goal is to "go raw" which mean eating only fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. Basically it's a fun term for vegan. I am not sure I am ready to give up all meat products, but that's the plan. I have been inspired by the "liferegenerator" on YouTube. He is inspirational in so many ways!!
Anyways, for now I plan to eat raw (which also means no cooked fruits and veggies), but also to include chicken and dairy. And I started last night with a smoothie that I am calling Cherry Cream. It had two bowls of dark cherries, half a carton of yogurt, and a couple handfuls of ice. It was scrumptious!!!! I did cave though and sate chicken and mac n' cheese, but I've done better today.
This morning I woke up and had a strawberry and banana smoothie. Then Natalie, Cote, and I went to CostCo. When we got back I made a watermelon lemon juice. It was not my favorite cause I am not a huge fan of watermelon, but tomorrow I am going to see what I can add to make it better. I also had an Asian chicken wrap! Yummy yummy! But the best was my dinner!!
I made a smoothie the was scrum-diddly-umptious!! It had mango, banana, yogurt, spinach, ice, flax seed, and honey!! oh boy!!!! It was so stinking good!! Even if it was green... I also baked four chicken breasts, so I ate one of those with a handful of raw broccoli and some small yellow and red tomatoes! Quite healthy if I do say so myself!!
And I am telling you all this to keep myself accountable. I want to get healthy and broaden my pallet so that Cote will never be negatively influenced by my food choices. And if I am making smoothies then I could also serve it as baby food!! BONUS!!
Maybe I will even start making videos of my smoothie experiments. Then I will have my recipe and so will you!! Win-Win!!
Till next time... choose GOD! choose LIFE! choose RAW!!
To start the change, I am changing my diet. My whole life I have feasted on foods that are doing nothing to help. While I lived with Ava and Delilah, I made a better effort to eat health, so they would eat healthy. Being pregnant, I made even more of an effort. Now, I need to make the change a complete commitment.
My goal is to "go raw" which mean eating only fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. Basically it's a fun term for vegan. I am not sure I am ready to give up all meat products, but that's the plan. I have been inspired by the "liferegenerator" on YouTube. He is inspirational in so many ways!!
Anyways, for now I plan to eat raw (which also means no cooked fruits and veggies), but also to include chicken and dairy. And I started last night with a smoothie that I am calling Cherry Cream. It had two bowls of dark cherries, half a carton of yogurt, and a couple handfuls of ice. It was scrumptious!!!! I did cave though and sate chicken and mac n' cheese, but I've done better today.
This morning I woke up and had a strawberry and banana smoothie. Then Natalie, Cote, and I went to CostCo. When we got back I made a watermelon lemon juice. It was not my favorite cause I am not a huge fan of watermelon, but tomorrow I am going to see what I can add to make it better. I also had an Asian chicken wrap! Yummy yummy! But the best was my dinner!!
I made a smoothie the was scrum-diddly-umptious!! It had mango, banana, yogurt, spinach, ice, flax seed, and honey!! oh boy!!!! It was so stinking good!! Even if it was green... I also baked four chicken breasts, so I ate one of those with a handful of raw broccoli and some small yellow and red tomatoes! Quite healthy if I do say so myself!!
And I am telling you all this to keep myself accountable. I want to get healthy and broaden my pallet so that Cote will never be negatively influenced by my food choices. And if I am making smoothies then I could also serve it as baby food!! BONUS!!
Maybe I will even start making videos of my smoothie experiments. Then I will have my recipe and so will you!! Win-Win!!
Till next time... choose GOD! choose LIFE! choose RAW!!
Friday, August 10, 2012
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