The Countdown

Ahh.. Here we are at the end of the semester, and all of the excitement is about to begin! My twenty first birthday is on Thursday. The semester is over next Wednesday (I think)! My baby shower is May 12th, and the little one should be here on or before June 1!! I am so excited! The anticipation is absolutely killing me! I want to fast forward to each event and skip all the in-between. I placed all of the orders for my birthday goodies today so more anticipation in awaiting their arrival. Oh and today, a sweetheart in my class brought me a bag full of baby clothes!! The excitement just keeps-a-coming! I love it!!!

Your Memory is like a Ghost

Everynight is the same. Nightmare after nightmare about the sperm donor from hell. It is like no matter how hard I try to forget him, I cant. I dont want to remember this man. I want to move on with my life and not look back, and yet every night he sneaks up on me. My memories are vivid and my dreams are quite imaginative. Each one is different than the next. But. they all have the same two reoccuring themes. Either he is trying to take my baby away from me, or I am reliving some form of finding out that he cheated. It is like no matter what I do, I cannot escape him. It is my hope that when she is born, the dreams of him taking her will slowly fade away. At the moment, there is nothing I can do but fear the future, but once she gets here I will be able to take actions into my own hands. There are things I can do to protect us, but right now I feel like a sitting duck. I think that is why my dreams are reflecting such fears. Once I am in control of my life, my subconcious will hopefully refelect the same thing. As for reliving the betrayal of him cheating, I think only time can heal that wound and maybe a good quality distraction! :) Anyway.. maybe venting a little will help... so, thanks for reading!

Not So Funny April Fools

This is probably me being over-sensitive (which dad said it is), but this April Fools pregnancy thing really upsets me. I know that my sensitivity to this is because I'm pregnant myself, but I do not find this to be funny! Being pregnant is not a joke, but worse.. The reactions to the joke are what is upsetting to me.

These "pranks" are appearing all over Facebook. People are trash talking those posting the jokes. These individuals are getting "I told you so.." and all kinds of other negative reactions. Abortion is being strongly encouraged instead of support being offered. And the girls that are saying they are pregnant are talking so negatively about the body changes and such.

Maybe all of the reactions from the pranker and prankee are all stemmed from the fact that today is April Fools, but I feel like all of it is unwarranted and inappropriate. I am personally offended by what I see.