Your Memory is like a Ghost

Everynight is the same. Nightmare after nightmare about the sperm donor from hell. It is like no matter how hard I try to forget him, I cant. I dont want to remember this man. I want to move on with my life and not look back, and yet every night he sneaks up on me. My memories are vivid and my dreams are quite imaginative. Each one is different than the next. But. they all have the same two reoccuring themes. Either he is trying to take my baby away from me, or I am reliving some form of finding out that he cheated. It is like no matter what I do, I cannot escape him. It is my hope that when she is born, the dreams of him taking her will slowly fade away. At the moment, there is nothing I can do but fear the future, but once she gets here I will be able to take actions into my own hands. There are things I can do to protect us, but right now I feel like a sitting duck. I think that is why my dreams are reflecting such fears. Once I am in control of my life, my subconcious will hopefully refelect the same thing. As for reliving the betrayal of him cheating, I think only time can heal that wound and maybe a good quality distraction! :) Anyway.. maybe venting a little will help... so, thanks for reading!