Rant of a Single Mother

Please grant me this chance to rant...

I am really beginning to struggle as a single mother. I am doing my very best, and I do not feel like I am struggling as a mother. But I do feel alone as a mother. For example, this weekend I assembled my baby's nursery room, and I did not have anyone to share the experience with. Don't get me wrong, my parents are absolutely fantastic, but it's not quite the same. There is a reason it takes two to make a baby... It is an experience that is meant to be shared! The milestones. The trials. The tribulations. Each thing event is special and wonderful to share with your child, but I feel like it loses something when you cant laugh or cry about it with your partner.

Then there is the flip side that i do not want her father back, so I am stuck in a less than ideal situation. But saying that I feel like a bad mother for feeling this way. I am not sure how to express exactly how I feel. I love my daughter and wouldn't trade a second I get to spend with her for anything in the world, but I do feel completely alone.

Another example is today. I returned to school today and was forced to leave my baby. And next week she starts daycare, both of which wouldn't necessarily have to happen if I wasn't single, but also both will take place with no support (excluding my parents.) I do each and every parental thing alone which is fine, but I wish I just had someone to share it with. Life isn't meant to be spent alone and neither is parenting..

But its all okay. I have God. Great parents. Good friends and a glass of wine. Lol.

Sorry for sounding so pathetic.. Just needed to word vomit a little...